People Are Afraid To Dance

I can still remember Bell Biv Devoe thumping off the walls of the Langley High School gymnasium.  The same walls that held up an awkward, self-conscious teenager who refused to cut a rug at a 1990's high school dance.  The same teenager who grew up to be a man who sometimes wonders,  "What might it have been like had I asked her to dance?"  Wondering because he was too afraid to ask and too afraid to dance.

It's funny.  Most of us are afraid of things that can never really hurt us such as public speaking, asking someone out on a date...ghosts!  Yet, we might drive home after one two many drinks or play a favorite sport without the correct protective equipment.  But what really hurts us?  What are the risks we never take that we really, truly pay for in life? What are we afraid to do?

People Are Afraid To Try Something Different
It has been said by many that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results.  Everyone knows this to be true, but most of us do it anyway.  Take our job search for example.  It has been reported that Internet job boards post about a 1% return on investment, which simply means that approximately 1 out of every 100 resumes posted online results in a job interview. Yet, the majority of job seekers turn first and most often to Internet job boards to find a job.

In her speech about the power of body language, Professor Amy Cuddy says that little tweaks can lead to big changes.  Think about the simplicity in this statement.  Some simple changes can produce big results. Take Miley Cyrus for example.  In March of 2006, she made her debut as Disney's cute and lovable Hannah Montana.  By December of 2010, Miley's cuteness was wearing off, and she was becoming a young woman...already too old for Disney.  She tried her hand in film and music with moderate success, but nothing like the Hannah-mania which swept the country a few years earlier.  So in 2013, Miley began to twerk and stick out her tongue.  Little tweaks to her image to say the least!  The results?  A new album which immediately broke sales records in 2013.

Obviously Miley may be an extreme example, but in a way it does prove the point.  If what you are doing is not working, try something different.  If you are unhappy with your current results, how could you possibly be afraid of something new?

People Are Afraid To Ask For Help
More than 60% of jobs are found through a word-of-mouth referral.  Almost 80% of our nation's job market is a hidden job market made up of unlisted opportunities with typically unknown companies.  The only way to find out about these jobs and/or to be recommended for these jobs is to let your friends and colleagues know what it is you're looking for.  Yet, people are often too afraid to ask for help.

As part of a networking class that I teach at a college in Pittsburgh, we build contact lists.  I tell students they need to communicate with their contacts especially in regard to employment.  So many turn to me and say, "I don't wanna tell someone I'm looking for a job." To which I say, "Why....How else are they going to know?!?"  It's crazy.  If someone is building a fence, they will ask their neighbor for help. Why not ask for help when it comes to building a career?

People Are Afraid To Follow Their Passions
Whether you are a man or woman...even if you are blissfully happy in your current relationship...everybody remembers the one that got away.  In his speech titled, "Why You Will Fail to Have a Great Career," Professor Larry Smith speaks candidly about giving up on dreams out of fear of embarrassment, failure, etc. When it comes to careers, people often base their career choices on sensible thoughts like Will I Make Enough Money or What's the Market Like for a Particular Occupation.  Certainly things to be considered, but what ends up happening?  We end up in careers that fail to satisfy our intellectual curiosity or true spirit.

Most of us don't pop out of bed to go to work; we drag ourselves out of bed to go get a paycheck. (If my students are reading this, I pop out of bed to come teach.)  I play guitar and sing.  This Saturday I'll be playing a private party. It's cool. I'll make a few bucks and get a few free drinks. But, I'll wake up Sunday morning thinking, "Well, rock star might have been an unrealistic dream, but, man, I sure would have had a lot of fun teaching music everyday."  Follow your crazy dreams. That way, like Larry Smith says, when your kid comes to you with his/her crazy dream you can say, "Go for it, kid...just like I did."

People Are Afraid To Dance
Nobody wants to look awkward, and nobody wants to be embarrassed.  That's why we don't dance.  That's why we don't take silly risks.  I've been a self-employed entrepreneur since 2005.  There is no more silly risk in this world!  People a lot smarter than and a lot more ambitious than I am never strike out on their own because they're afraid of what people may think if they fail.  Guess what? You might fail.  But, if you never take a chance than that means you'll never experience anything new.  My friend Derek "I Will Never Give Up' Clark quotes a poem about taking risks.  In the quote, he says something to the effect of, "Stop hugging the tree trunk and get out there on that branch where the fruit is."  Whatever your risk...Whatever the tune...Don't be afraid to dance.